Embarrassing Lyrics, Part 3

Here’s Part 3 in the continuation of the “Embarrassing Lyrics” saga!

Compiled by John Jude Farragut.

“Cheaper Than a Shrink” by Will Peppers

Cheaper than a shrink
You don’t even have to think
Just pour and drinkYeah, cheaper than a shrink

I’ve never been a big fan or critic of country music, but that is just pathetic.

And, to think, this was the first song of one of the fresh new country artists playing on Sirius 60. Talk about an embarrassing debut!

“Makes Me Wonder,” by Maroon 5

Woke up with bloodshot eyes

Struggled to memorize

The way it felt between your thighs

‘Nuff said.

“21 Questions,” by 50 Cent

(Lyrics found at www.songmeanings.com.)

I love you like a fat kid love cake

How flattering for a woman to hear.

“Drummer Boy,” by Sean Kingston

I’m marching with the army of kids

All my soldiers in the streets raise your arms like this

Miss america we are, we here for the crown

Somehow, it just doesn’t work.

“Sweet Caroline,” by Neil Diamond

Hands

Touching hands

Reaching out

Touching me

Touching you

Anyone else feel a trifle uncomfortable?

“Like A Rock,” by Bob Seger

Like a rock charging from the gate

That’s the part they don’t show on the commercials.

“Don’t Go Breakin’ My Heart,” as performed by Elton John and Kiki Dee

(Lyrics found at www.eltonography.com.)

Don’t go breakin’ my heartYou take the weight off me

Honey when you knocked on my door

I gave you my key

How much easier it would be if you opened the door first!

“Horse With No Name,” by America

On the first part of the journey

I was lookin’ at all the life

There were plants and birds and rocks and things

There was sand and hills and rain

Okay, I believe the “plants and birds,” but ask even a biology student (here, here!) – everything else in those lyrics doesn’t follow the definition of life.

“If the Phone Doesn’t Ring, It’s Me,” by Jimmy Buffett

(Lyrics found at www.lyricsandsongs.com.)

If the phone doesn’t ring You’ll know that it’s me

I’ll be out in the eye of the storm

No, I’d blame the storm on the phone lines cutting out, actually.

If the phone doesn’t ring

You’ll know that I’ll be

Where someone can make me feel warm

So if your phone cuts out, she’s going to infer that she’s just been dumped?

“I Don’t Want to Wait,” by Paula Cole

(Lyrics found at www.lyrics007.com.)

So open up your morning light

And say a little prayer for I.

Try putting in different pronouns for “I” – “Say a little prayer for he” “Say a little prayer for she” – nah, doesn’t work.

When the lyrics are sung, it almost sound as if it’s “say a little prayer for light.” But that doesn’t work, either. I’ve heard the song for a long time, and I never noticed the grammar.

Apart from this lose-lose situation in the lyrics, the song is beautiful all around – definitely Cole’s best.

“Life Is a Highway,” by Tom Cochrane

There was a distance between you and I

Again with the nominative case pronoun as the object of the preposition?

“Into the Night,” by Chad Kroeger and Santana

(Lyrics found at www.metrolyrics.com.)

We was spinning in circles with the moon in our eyes,

No room left to move in between you and I

What, is this a trend? Oh, and to top it off, Kroeger thoughtlessly drops in the phrase “We was.” Talk about adding grammatical atrocities to an already pathetic song. Personally, it’s hard to believe Santana went along with this and that it was even a hit.

“Feel Like Makin’ Love,” by Bad Company

(Lyrics found at www.lyricsfreak.com.)

Feel like makin’ love

Feel like makin’ love

(repeat many times)

Feel like makin’ love to you

‘Nuff said.

I had a total ball putting this list together. It took a lot of hard work, but the laughter and exploration were definitely worthwhile!